Archive for May, 2009

From a Baby’s Mouth

Hi…welcome to GranpaJohn.com. I hope you find something here today to tickle your funny bone, please your eyes, perk up your interest. If there is a birthday, anniversary or special occasion coming up for someone you love, be sure to click on my puzzle page (http://granpajohn.com/crossword-puzzles/) for something you have not seen before—a personalized crossword puzzle that’s sure to please the somebody special in your life.

….thanks a lot…GranpaJohn


Hello neighbor! Come in and make yourself comfortable.  Here’s something totally charming: a little girl singing The Lord’s Prayer .  Click on the picture and enjoy.

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MOTHER DOESN’T WANT A DOG

MOTHER DOESN’T WANT A DOG

by Judith Viorst


Mother doesn’t want a dog.

Mother says they smell.

And never sit when you say sit,

Or even when you yell.


And when you come home late at night,

And there is ice and snow,

You have to go back out because,

The dumb dog has to go.


Mother doesn’t want a dog.

Mother says they shed,

And always let the strangers in,

And bark at friends instead,


And do disgraceful things on rugs,

And track mud on the floor,

And flop upon your bed at night,

And snore their doggy snore.


Mother doesn’t want a dog.

She’s making a mistake

Because more than a dog, I think,

She will not want this snake.

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For all you wordsmiths and quidnuncs out there

The following advice on writing is by Frank L. Visco and William Safire. They set valid rules and break them in ways that aren’t wrong, yet they want the readers to only stick to the rules:

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. Employ the vernacular.

4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

6. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

7. Contractions aren’t necessary.

8. Foreign words and phrases are not a propos.

9. One should never generalize.

10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”

11. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it is highly superfluous.

12. Profanity sucks.

13. Be more or less specific.

14. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

16. The passive voice is to be avoided.

17. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

18. Who needs rhetorical questions?

19. Remember to never split an infinitive.

20. The passive voice should never be used.

21. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat).

BUT, I DON’T GIVE A HOOT!

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Take a Haiku, Pilgrim

Yes, you can write poetry that is funny or interesting…or anyway, lets you express your opinions or feelings about some things..

Here is the equipment you need:

1. Four fingers and a thumb on one hand

2. At least two digits on the other hand.

3. Some ideas, opinions you want to share

4. A pencil, pen or keyboard

5. A grain of salt, to take with almost everything GranpaJohn writes or says.

Japanese haiku is a form of poetry made of 3 lines: 5 syllables in the first line; 7 syllables in the second line; 5 syllables in the third line.

Here are a few I wrote so you can see how easy it is.

These same cicadas (5)

Only last year heralded (7)

Our summer love (5)

Tolerance is key

When your neighbor’s yelping dog

Drives you up the wall

The cat-nature’s way

…To show that not all creatures

Have a real function

Your translucent eyes

Make it easier to see

The beauty within

Ok, now it’s your turn.  Please write two or three in the comment box below, or  send them to:

john@granpajohn.com

Include your name and what state you’re from in case I voice them or publish them on this web site.

I’m really looking forward to seeing your haiku.

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Rules of Order

Hi…welcome to GranpaJohn.com. I hope you find something here today to tickle your funny bone, please your eyes, perk up your interest. If there is a birthday, anniversary or special occasion coming up for someone you love, be sure to click on my puzzle page (http://granpajohn.com/crossword-puzzles/) for something you have not seen before—a personalized crossword puzzle that’s sure to please the somebody special in your life.

….thanks a lot…GranpaJohn

Maybe you can recognize some of these situations in your daily life….  enjoy!

Rules of Order

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Music Memories 1

Hi…welcome to GranpaJohn.com. I hope you find something here today to tickle your funny bone, please your eyes, perk up your interest. If there is a birthday, anniversary or special occasion coming up for someone you love, be sure to click on my puzzle page (http://granpajohn.com/crossword-puzzles/) for something you have not seen before—a personalized crossword puzzle that’s sure to please the somebody special in your life.

….thanks a lot…GranpaJohn

Do you like oldies?

Listen to first episode of Granpa John’s Music Memories.   Check back soon for the next three songs with intros by Granpa John.

42-15971528

The Andrew Sisters, circa. 1940

artie-shaw-and-ava-gardner

Artie Shaw and Ava Gardner

Click on the music notes below, sit back and relax as Granpa John introduces three wonderful songs from the past:

slide1

Music Memories 1

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