….thanks a lot…GranpaJohn

Hello neighbor! Come in and make yourself comfortable.  Here’s something totally charming: a little girl singing The Lord’s Prayer .  Click on the picture and enjoy.

]]> http://granpajohn.com/?feed=rss2&p=305 http://granpajohn.com/?p=147 http://granpajohn.com/?p=147#comments Fri, 15 May 2009 04:54:41 +0000 Shepard http://granpajohn.com/?p=147

by Judith Viorst

Mother doesn’t want a dog.

Mother says they smell.

And never sit when you say sit,

Or even when you yell.

And when you come home late at night,

And there is ice and snow,

You have to go back out because,

The dumb dog has to go.

Mother doesn’t want a dog.

Mother says they shed,

And always let the strangers in,

And bark at friends instead,

And do disgraceful things on rugs,

And track mud on the floor,

And flop upon your bed at night,

And snore their doggy snore.

Mother doesn’t want a dog.

She’s making a mistake

Because more than a dog, I think,

She will not want this snake. ]]> http://granpajohn.com/?feed=rss2&p=147 http://granpajohn.com/?p=119 http://granpajohn.com/?p=119#comments Fri, 15 May 2009 04:50:28 +0000 Shepard http://granpajohn.com/?p=119

The following advice on writing is by Frank L. Visco and William Safire. They set valid rules and break them in ways that aren’t wrong, yet they want the readers to only stick to the rules:

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. Employ the vernacular.

4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

6. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

7. Contractions aren’t necessary.

8. Foreign words and phrases are not a propos.

9. One should never generalize.

10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”

11. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it is highly superfluous.

12. Profanity sucks.

13. Be more or less specific.

14. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

16. The passive voice is to be avoided.

17. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

18. Who needs rhetorical questions?

19. Remember to never split an infinitive.

20. The passive voice should never be used.

21. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat).

BUT, I DON’T GIVE A HOOT!

Here is the equipment you need:

1. Four fingers and a thumb on one hand

2. At least two digits on the other hand.

3. Some ideas, opinions you want to share

4. A pencil, pen or keyboard

5. A grain of salt, to take with almost everything GranpaJohn writes or says.

Japanese haiku is a form of poetry made of 3 lines: 5 syllables in the first line; 7 syllables in the second line; 5 syllables in the third line.

Here are a few I wrote so you can see how easy it is.

These same cicadas (5)

Only last year heralded (7)

Our summer love (5)

Tolerance is key

When your neighbor’s yelping dog

Drives you up the wall

The cat-nature’s way

…To show that not all creatures

Have a real function

Your translucent eyes

Make it easier to see

The beauty within

Ok, now it’s your turn.  Please write two or three in the comment box below, or  send them to:

john@granpajohn.com

Include your name and what state you’re from in case I voice them or publish them on this web site.

I’m really looking forward to seeing your haiku.

….thanks a lot…GranpaJohn

Maybe you can recognize some of these situations in your daily life….  enjoy!

Rules of Order

….thanks a lot…GranpaJohn

Do you like oldies?

Listen to first episode of Granpa John’s Music Memories.   Check back soon for the next three songs with intros by Granpa John.

The Andrew Sisters, circa. 1940

Artie Shaw and Ava Gardner

Click on the music notes below, sit back and relax as Granpa John introduces three wonderful songs from the past:

Music Memories 1

You Are Old, Father William by Lewis Carroll

“You are old, Father william,” the young man said,
“And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head–
Do you think, at your age, it is right?

“In my youth,” Father William replied to his son,
“I feared it might injure the brain;
But now that I’m perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.”

“You are old,” said the youth, “as I mentioned before,
And you have grown must uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned back a somersault in at the door–
Pray, what is the reason of that?”

“In my youth,” said the sage, as he shook his gray locks,
“I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment–one shilling a box–
Allow me to sell you a couple.”

“You are old,” said the youth, “and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak–
Pray, how did you manage to do it?”

“In my youth,” said his father, “I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.”

“You are old,” said the youth, “one would hardly suppose
That your eyes was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose–
What made you so awfully clever?”

“I have answered three questions, and that is enough,”
Said his father; “don’t give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?

Be off, or I’ll kick you downstairs!”

….thanks a lot…GranpaJohn

Here is an interesting Powerpoint slideshow of images that will definitely change your perception of wallpaper….

Emma Hack Art

….thanks a lot…GranpaJohn

Here is something an old friend sent to me recently.  It struck a nerve with me… and maybe you can relate to some of this, too.  Write your comments down below.

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it and let her know. Aging, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don’t agonize over those things for long. I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. In aging, I’ve become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon — before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the ’60s and ’70s, and if at the same time, I wish to weep over a lost love … I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They too will age. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But then again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody’s beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you age, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself any more. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong. So, to answer your question, I like aging. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day if I feel like it!

….thanks a lot…GranpaJohn

Here’s a short article about cell phones I wrote a few years ago. If you have any opinion about cell phones, or people that use them, write a comment below.

Click here if you would like to listen to me read the article.

A lot of people are afflicted with the same sad condition. People between 12 and 59 are especially susceptible to this disease. The

symptoms are easy to recognize. Victims are usually in a bus or

coffee shop when the attacks occur. For lack of a medical education I call it Cell Phone Syndrome. They appear to be staring at a phone that isn’t ringing. What’s going on? I don’t know.

Is there an inconvenient time to call someone by cell phone? Maybe not. People seem glad to get a call even if they are busy making lunch,

making money or making love.

….I visited a cell phone shop near my house and interviewed one of the Electronic Technicians there, a charming girl who stopped taping Mickey Mouse cartoons on the windows to answer my questions. I asked her why so many people are using cell phones. She replied that she didn’t have a clue. I then approached her manager who was busy supervising the taping of Mickey Mouse cartoons on the windows.

The Chief Electronic Technician said he wasn’t sure but suggested it might be somehow connected with the multi-million dollar media blitz his company was perpetrating.

I bumped into an acquaintance at the mall last week. He is a member of PADI, the scuba diving organization. He told me that, worldwide, fewer people are diving than five years ago. I suggested that maybe it had something to do with oil spills and hungry sharks. He said no. He is sure that divers don’t want to be cut off from friends and telemarketers when under the sea. I’m sure an underwater cell phone would be a popular product and will probably appear in the stores soon.

….This might increase the membership in PADI because wouldn’t it be cool, when friends or creditors call, to say, “Hi, I’m glad you called but

I’m 300 feet down in the Pacific Ocean right now feeding a 40-foot stingray. Can I get back to you when I decompress?”