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You Are Old, Father

Posted by Shepard in Uncategorized on April 6th, 2009

Lewis Carroll, author of Alice in Wonderland, had a great sense of humor. Here’s one example of his humorous side.

You Are Old, Father William by Lewis Carroll

“You are old, Father william,” the young man said,
“And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head–
Do you think, at your age, it is right?

“In my youth,” Father William replied to his son,
“I feared it might injure the brain;
But now that I’m perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.”

“You are old,” said the youth, “as I mentioned before,
And you have grown must uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned back a somersault in at the door–
Pray, what is the reason of that?”

“In my youth,” said the sage, as he shook his gray locks,
“I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment–one shilling a box–
Allow me to sell you a couple.”

“You are old,” said the youth, “and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak–
Pray, how did you manage to do it?”

“In my youth,” said his father, “I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.”

“You are old,” said the youth, “one would hardly suppose
That your eyes was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose–
What made you so awfully clever?”

“I have answered three questions, and that is enough,”
Said his father; “don’t give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?

Be off, or I’ll kick you downstairs!”

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The Cell Phone Syndrome

Posted by Shepard in Uncategorized on March 2nd, 2009

Hi…welcome to GranpaJohn.com. I hope you find something here today to tickle your funny bone, please your eyes, perk up your interest. If there is a birthday, anniversary or special occasion coming up for someone you love, be sure to click on my puzzle page (http://granpajohn.com/crossword-puzzles/) for something you have not seen before—a personalized crossword puzzle that’s sure to please the somebody special in your life.

….thanks a lot…GranpaJohn

Here’s a short article about cell phones I wrote a few years ago. If you have any opinion about cell phones, or people that use them, write a comment below.

Click here if you would like to listen to me read the article.

A lot of people are afflicted with the same sad condition. People between 12 and 59 are especially susceptible to this disease. The

symptoms are easy to recognize. Victims are usually in a bus or

coffee shop when the attacks occur. For lack of a medical education I call it Cell Phone Syndrome. They appear to be staring at a phone that isn’t ringing. What’s going on? I don’t know.

Is there an inconvenient time to call someone by cell phone? Maybe not. People seem glad to get a call even if they are busy making lunch,

making money or making love.

….I visited a cell phone shop near my house and interviewed one of the Electronic Technicians there, a charming girl who stopped taping Mickey Mouse cartoons on the windows to answer my questions. I asked her why so many people are using cell phones. She replied that she didn’t have a clue. I then approached her manager who was busy supervising the taping of Mickey Mouse cartoons on the windows.

The Chief Electronic Technician said he wasn’t sure but suggested it might be somehow connected with the multi-million dollar media blitz his company was perpetrating.

I bumped into an acquaintance at the mall last week. He is a member of PADI, the scuba diving organization. He told me that, worldwide, fewer people are diving than five years ago. I suggested that maybe it had something to do with oil spills and hungry sharks. He said no. He is sure that divers don’t want to be cut off from friends and telemarketers when under the sea. I’m sure an underwater cell phone would be a popular product and will probably appear in the stores soon.

….This might increase the membership in PADI because wouldn’t it be cool, when friends or creditors call, to say, “Hi, I’m glad you called but

I’m 300 feet down in the Pacific Ocean right now feeding a 40-foot stingray. Can I get back to you when I decompress?”

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